It is one of the most popular times of the year to propose – according to Bridebook, a popular wedding planning app, more than 100,000 engagements happen during the festive period.
But with Britons feeling the pinch after years of high inflation, how much are people spending, what cuts are they going for, and what happens to the ring if you split up?
The Money blog did a deep dive to find out.
The ‘two-month salary rule’
When it comes to budgeting for a ring, the phrase that is often bandied about is that you should spend two months of your salary.
But did you know this actually came from a clever piece of marketing? It was the work of De Beers, a diamond cartel, in the 1930s.
The Great Depression was a disaster for De Beers, and so they began a campaign to link diamonds to getting engaged – and it really worked. In the 1940s, just 10% of engagement rings contained diamonds, but by the end of the 20th century, it was 80%.
They did it by launching an ad campaign that suggested a single month’s salary was the right amount to spend on a ring. The biggest breakthrough then came in 1947 with the phrase “A diamond is forever”.
In the 1980s, the single-month salary was bumped up to two months. A famous ad featuring a woman with a ring said: “Two months’ salary showed the future Mrs Smith what the future would be like.”
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Another featured a ring and said: “How can you make two months’ salary last forever?”
By the turn of the century, De Beers had successfully made diamond engagement rings an essential part of getting married – and dictated how much a man should pay.
According to the Office for National Statistics, the average UK monthly salary is £2,297 after tax, which would mean (if you followed De Beers logic) the average Briton is spending £4,594 on a ring.
Of course, for a huge number of Britons this is unaffordable – while there are also many who can afford to pay more.
The duchess of Sussex’s engagement ring is estimated to be worth between £150,000 and £300,000. Pic: AP
Meghan, the duchess of Sussex, wears a white engagement ring, with three diamonds, including some from Princess Diana’s collection. It is estimated to have cost Prince Harry between £150,000 and £300,000 – but is now likely worth much more.
Molly Mae Hague’s ring could be worth more than £1m. Pic: AP
Molly Mae, meanwhile, who broke up with fiancé Tommy Fury before making it down the aisle, was proposed to with a five-carat, oval diamond ring – worth at least £600,000.
A Sky News poll of more than 3,400 people on LinkedIn found a majority would spend between £1,000 and £5,000 on a ring.
Just 306 said they felt rings were unnecessary – less than the 507 who said they would spend more than £5,000 on a ring.
‘Two months? It’s nonsense – here’s what many people do instead’
Charlotte Leigh, the owner and founder of Lottie Leigh Fine Jewellery, tells clients to spend what they can afford.
“One month, two months, three months… it’s relative nonsense. You should never get yourself into a financial pickle over an engagement ring. Because an engagement ring, as lovely as it is, it’s not going to pay the mortgage or the rent. It’s not going to pay your electricity bill.”
She often sees couples buy a “starter” ring intending to upgrade it later down the line if and when they can afford it.
“It shows an attitude of, ‘I want you to have what you want, but actually that’s not practical right now. So let’s get you something lovely, and then when we’re in a different financial position, we’ll get you something fabulous,'” she said.
And when it comes to picking a stone, diamonds are a “lovely concept” but also practical, she said: “They are very durable and should last you forever.”
In 2024, emeralds are more popular
New research, conducted by Ramsdens Jewellery, has found these days it is the emerald that is more sought after, followed by diamonds and sapphires. The research analysed nationwide Google searches for engagement ring gemstones and cuts to determine the most in-demand in the UK.
Emerald cut, princess cut, and pear cut were the most popular styles.
File pic: iStock
The way we think of rings is changing
In writing this piece, this reporter told Charlotte that her husband didn’t get her an engagement ring at all – and Charlotte didn’t seem surprised to hear about someone doing things differently.
“The average age for marriage these days is 32, and we are settling down much older than other generations,” she says.
“And when we meet people, we now move in with them before getting married. I know some couples who have children who haven’t bothered to get married – it’s a reflection of how our society is changing. People have different priorities.”
But what she sees more often is people (usually women) designing their rings alongside their partners.
“It’s quite symbolic of the way women’s place in society has changed. Before, women would have had a ring bestowed upon them. And I promise you, nine times out of 10, it wasn’t the perfect ring.
“But now what we are doing is saying, this is all about you, you and your happiness, and I want you to have the perfect ring. And I think that is a beautiful concept.”
Charlotte says while a client will sometimes walk in the door asking for the “whitest diamond with the best clarity”, they often change their mind when she shows them different options – as many of the differences aren’t visible to the naked eye.
Lab-grown or mined?
One way to get slightly more dazzle for your coin is to opt for a lab-grown diamond. These are compositionally the same as mined diamonds, right down to the same sparkly atoms – but they’ve been grown in a lab instead of dug from the earth.
On the face of it, it seems more environmentally friendly but most lab diamond growers require 250-750 kilowatt hours (kWh) to produce a rough carat (that would be like running 750 dishwashers for an hour).
Lab-grown diamonds are seen as a more affordable alternative. Pic: iStock
“Whichever avenue you go down with an engagement ring, even if it’s a great diamond, there is an impact to the environment – and anyone who tells you any different is lying,” says Charlotte.
Predictions also show a lab-grown diamonds will eventually “be worth the same as a [cheap] cubic zirconia”, Charlotte says, because the “market is being flooded” as they are easy (if energy-consuming) to make.
“The whole point of a diamond is that it is rare,” she says.
What happens if you break up?
Like Molly Mae and Tommy Fury, not every engagement ends in happily ever after. Paris Hilton’s third engagement to actor Chris Zylka was marked with a 20-carat pear-cut diamond ring said to be worth $2m. After they broke up, the heiress refused to return it because Zylka had reportedly received it for free from a close friend, jeweller Michael Green.
One very expensive ring found itself at the centre of a court battle that went all the way to the Massachusetts Supreme Court, where arguments were heard from lawyers representing Bruce Johnson and Caroline Settino. The pair were briefly engaged in 2017.
According to court documents, Johnson bought the engagement ring from Tiffany’s in Boston, paying more than $70,000. Shortly after the pair became engaged, the relationship ended. Massachusetts law said the ring was a “conditional gift”, saying the giver could get it back if they were found to be without fault in the relationship ending.
In the UK, however, the ring is usually classified as an “absolute gift”.
The Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970 states that: “The gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason.”
Nelsons Solicitors says although it seems unfair, this means the recipient is under no obligation to return the ring if the marriage doesn’t take place, or ends in divorce.
We asked our readers and 55% said it should be given back.
Thinking of proposing this Christmas?
Charlotte says that however much you spend should come down to where you place your value.
“Some people place value on that cost per wear and enjoyment factor. So if you have something that you wear every day, and you enjoy it, you might say, well then it’s worth it.
“It’s a bit like a Chanel bag – it is expensive, but is it worth it? That’s down to the individual.”